Making meaningful changes
Do you struggle with getting the life you want? Do you make the same resolutions every New Years Eve? Or perhaps you don't make resolutions anymore because you never kept the ones you made before?
It's a common problem, with many people going from year to year, wishing they could give up smoking, lose 3 stone, get a better job, move house or perhaps even leave a troubled marriage.
So why is it that we often live lives in which we are unhappy, dissatisfied or simply unfulfilled and more importantly what can we do to change this?
Sometimes we don't know what we want, we simply know we don't want what we have. On other occasions, we know exactly what we want but getting it seems impossible or involves too many difficult or scary steps. Then again, there are times when we make a great plan and start off well but somehow life gets in the way and we lose momentum.
Thankfully there are also times when we know what we want and we take the necessary steps to get it and are successful. As a Life Coach I always encouraged clients to identify such times (even if they happened a long time ago, or seemed like small victories). It's easy to become focused on the negative but it's good and motivational to remind ourselves of our ability and successes.
"A dream is just a dream.
A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline."
If you want to make some changes in your life:
I encourage you to take a little time, in a quiet place, and ask yourself the following questions:
What do I want?
You'd be surprised how many people spend their lives responding to whatever happens to them, rather than thinking about what they want. Others accept that whatever they would like is impossible for some reason or other.
So open your mind, dream a little and admit (if only to yourself) what it is that you would really like. Write it down in as much detail as possible.
Is what I want an Authentic Goal?
By Authentic I mean a goal YOU really desire.
We adopt goals for many reasons. You may think you should want to attain a certain goal (e.g get fit) or your friends may reach a goal and you experience peer pressure to do the same. You may decide to do something because someone else has suggested it would be good for you. All of these situations can provide a good stimulus.
If, however, they are the only reasons you are trying to reach the goal, then it is not an authentic goal for you. An authentic goal is one that you truly want for yourself.
Being sure your goal is Authentic can increase the likelihood of you achieving it and stop you wasting your valuable time chasing something you don't really want.
When do I want it to happen?
Putting a time or a deadline helps to focus the mind. It becomes a definite thing to happen within a certain period rather than something you'd like to happen sometime.
Our minds respond well to such suggestions. The clearer the instructions we give to our minds the more they can help us.
What 'one step' can I take today to help me make the changes I want to make?
This is important!
It can be as small and simple as you like but in order to change your life you have to DO something. People can spend years perfecting the perfect plan, or trying to identify each step between where they are now and where they want to be but unless they actually take the first step and do something different or do something differently, things won't change.
Generally, trying to identify all the steps before you begin is not only time consuming but overwhelming and even impossible as you don't have enough information in the beginning.
It's much better to, identify what you ultimately want (which gives you a direction in which you want to move). Identify your skills and abilities and everything In your current situation that could help you move forward. Then select a first step and take it. YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY!!
If you would like some help
Consider having a Life Coaching session. By asking powerful questions, listening attentively and using specialised techniques, a good Life Coach can help you identify the steps you need to take and support you while you take them.
Ending each session with a number of practical steps towards your desired future that YOU have identified for yourself and using the next appointment as a deadline can prove very motivational.